Likla always bears a charming smile on her face. When she sits , her head rests on her hands and her eyes look glossy from her
staring. You can never really tell what she's looking at because her stare seems almost full of imagination. Sometimes it seems thoughtless too. Her mouth hangs slightly open but at times turns up in a small grin when she's frustrated. She has got nearly all sort of expressions. You wonder
what she thinks about. Does she think about you? You doubt it. Does she think about him?
Sometimes,you're
sure of it. She is thinking about Chinglen. Many a time,her
actions confuse you. Sometimes she spends the whole day talking, laughing, joking, smiling, hanging with you. Then the next day she hardly says a word. Has she ever seen you the way you see her? You know she hasn't. Will she ever see you the way you see her? You know she won't. She's of the same age as your sister. You know it. In a way,she's like your sister. She doesn't want to "ruin your friendship." It's a nice
phrase .It would've been easier if she had just said that. It would have been less confusing; less complex.
At least then you would know where you stand. At least then you would have known her in no time.
And then there's the other one,the you told me who liked you. Your annoying friend who won't leave
you alone because of her feelings for you. You want to give Thaja the same speech you received from Likla ; saying the same line. "I just don't want to ruin our friendship." You are aware the truth is you really couldn't care less. The truth is she wasn't the one who was supposed to like you anyway. It wasn't supposed to be her. But who are you to be so sure of it?. You're not even sure if it was supposed to be Likla. All you know is that either way no friendships will be ruined but the little voice inthe back of your head is screaming again. It's
telling you that they may not be ruined but they'll never be the same again.
You look at Thaja sitting in front of you. She told you yesterday how she felt and now it's weird.
You hope she would just leave
you alone. You find yourself avoiding her, one of your friends. You find yourself wishing she just wouldn't talk to you. Her annoyingness hasn't
just crossed the line; it jumped over the thing. She's not being annoying to be funny or to get a laugh out of you like she usually does. It's amazing how things can
change in twenty four hours. She being annoying now because she wants to get your attention. But your attention happens to be
elsewhere. But mind you,Likla must also be finding you so irritating.
You pass Likla in the hallway and whispers hi. All she does is nod her head a little and wave. So many hours have passed since yesterday
afternoon but she still hasn't left your head. Today you're afraid that if you open your mouth you'll share your true feelings,making her irritated again. She doesn't even know you love her as much as you love yourself. She only knows you have a teeny tiny crush on her. Imagine her surprise if she finds out that you really and true love her. That's an automatic ruined friendship.
What's the point in having friends if all you care about is ruining the friendships? I suppose that's all one can care about whenever you have an unwelcome crush on your best friend's friend and one of your friends just happens to have an unwelcome crush on you. And right now unwelcome crushes are all you
seems to care about. Give yourself a passing smile, an annoying pat on the back, and two simple sentences,"I just don't want to ruin our friendship. I can love Likla as a friend and allow Thaja to love me as a friend"
PS: This article is dedicated to one of my best friends here who is in a big confusion
